Wednesday, April 28, 2010

The what ifs...

I sit here watching my children play, and I'm grateful for them. But at the same time I think of the What If's...What if the first baby would've made it? What if we would've have a girl first? What if that baby would've stuck, would we have gone to Texas or just stayed here? What if...

It's weird to think that we would have a 4yr old already. If that baby would've stuck and been a girl I wouldn't have my Shaymee. And now after recent events its odd to think that we would've most likely had another reason to be joyful at Christmas time. The mind wonders, sometimes good and sometimes bad.

But tonight I want to say I'm thankful for my children. I want to send hugs to those with infertility and those that have had losses, its never easy no matter who you are.

Our first angel, Due 4/16/2006, went to Heaven on August 12th, 2005 (5.5-6weeks)

Our second angel, Due mid-late December 2010, went to Heaven on April 20th, 2010 (unsure on gestation 5-8weeks but probably more like 6.5)


  1. This breaks my heart but the children that are here on earth of beautiful.

  2. Just found your sorry for the losses you have had. My heart breaks for all families that go through this.